things i have to say ~

i know i am a jerk for running away from my problems ..
but now i wont be running away
and i will be running towards my problems...
which i think i need to and have to ..
so i will try my best to cope with this problem lately...
i know no matter what the result is ..
i still will get ngam by few ppl...
which is not a really good feeling...
now i will try my best to deal with it and
for xin , we really need more communication ....
even though that is everyone said that we needed
still theory and practical is 2 diff things...
and i really didnt did it well for the past 2~3 weeks...
still the person i am now
aint the person from before
maybe you will think that i am just blowing water ...
then the only thing i can do is do take action lo...

and i know u guys really care about that..
and i know mostly i my problem
and my communication problem...
which is very lame...
and da both of us like always misunderstood de...
sometimes when she kidding i think is serious
and when i serious she think i kidding...
so aiks....
and for xin,
what i have to say that..
i will do my thing till the end ...
i wont give up ...
even your heart is broken..
i will use glue to stick it back..
or can stick it back
then i will make u a new one ~...
these are my words..
which i think u will think its just nth la..
for me is a new start...
and i really think that going to uni
really can change someone ~
which is a nice experience ^^
------------------------------------------------

my own problem now..
aiks ... money problem again..
my phone bill is like rm180++ ..
omg....
duno how to pay ..
haiz... need eat biscut liao
and for few days later de..
need find money as well..
going for sungkai and lost world of tambun trip..
tourism club de ice breaking trip..
rm 95 a..
so ex...
haiz...
become comms..
so go see see lo..
gah you ^^

i am doing it again...

for me to my family i kinda like to hide things from them...
and as now...
i am kinda hiding things from my gf which is not telling her...
i am going out with some one which is one of my "sister"..
dun think too much pls..
for some reason,
i didnt really wanna go for tonight's lian's homecoming,
even though we are friends,
still not really got da mood...
and then xian called me ask wanna go starbuck anot...
and i didnt told my dear
cos i told her i am staying home...
so i really screwed up big times...
i know she might think that me and her got something and for my info
i think she really thinks alot,
what ideas she coming up also not sure,
aiks,,,
i am doomed...
just felt like wanna run away from things...
which most of the time i did,
and end up having bad results
or even worse lose a friend or so,
i know i am the worst friend ever
haiz..
now really duno what to think ....
thinking any of this really scares me...
as for now
she really angry.
just that i also not sure what to do now...
aiks...
kinda felt like i am doomed...

23/7

its been like duno how long since i last posted something here ~
kinda think that uni lifestyle really can change someone...
that is for me la..
just felt that in some where some part of me is changing...
maybe my uni friends might have the chance to see my bad side..
which i think some of u guys kinda wanna see..
just felt that la..
and in this new place..
really like starting something new...
just a unknown person starting over...
and everything here is unfamiliar
and dont have anyone to relay on ...
which is kinda a hell new experience..
still coping with it
haha~...

duno ....

alot of things happened lately..
i know that what happens to me
really aint a big dear to ppl around me...
they will just said oh... really o?
after hearding something bad about that person...
still i dont really think i care ?
really stupid of me
always doubting myself...
and writing something stupid...
haha
sorry for the one reading....
really sorry
haha ~
everyone is going on their own journey le..
and how bout me?
just starting my new journey and ending my old one?
and i really hate my self....
bcos i always didnt things dont hv a closing de..
which means i always did things half half only ...
the other half always very cincai finish it..
but the cincai also cant cope the problem..
and now i am running away from some ><
really stupid of me...
what's the point of running away ....
when i am the one the cause of the problem...
just come out and say it clearly then can le la ...
haiz..

i also duno what i am writing jor ><
aiks...
stupid la....
haiz...