the thought.

starting from that day she asked me that question.

i really thinked about it.

am i really that bad that she wanted to have that ending

or am i really not enough for her?

the 2nd 1 is more possible...

really been thinking lately...

then my feel for her getting someone better is stronger le

i know i aint the person that she can really be happy with

cause alot of things that she wanted i canot just simply canot

i also duno why.

since yesterday incident ,

will going to turn out less from now on,

maybe somewhere in my heart it really hurts.

for some reason ,

yesterday is the time i canot take it

then burst like that.

really felt that if she really wanted it then so be it.

after that msg,

been driving on the high ways,

just keep driving ,

really felt that needed to hv a place calm to let me pack myself

again ,

and

what's done is done

no matter how u try to undone

damage is already done,

and sorry really is no cure ,

and i canot do anything to atone it

i really scare i will cause more dmg

or

maybe really my fault that u are hurt,

i am the 1 that always hurt u,

i will be away from u now on ,

u wont get hurt by me anymore,

just had 1 wish ,

hope u can let me see it,

be happy and enjoy ur life ya ^^.

to someone that i loved and will still always be,

walao... miracle...

yesterday and today really a miracle...

because i studied infront of the pc for 3 whole hours...

from 9 something to 11 something at night...

then i tried to get to sleep...

i cant...

my brain really like full of energy cant stop thinking of things...

and my body like very tired...

just that my brain dun let me sleep...

been lying on bed for the whole night...

keep wake and lay on bed

keep do that for few times..

till now 5.24am...

in the morning..

wtf...

why like this a..

later 9am got exam summore..

really swt la..

aiyo...

really too miss someone

or just my brain a bit too excited?

cos today last paper jor?

duno o

haiz...

really a...

duno what to say myself...

原来...

原来我是个有少爷脾气，

先甜后苦，

有钱就乱乱花，

讲话很容易得罪人

的一个人。

这些缺点真的有点觉得自己很有问题

可是，有谁会没有问题？

我的问题就可能会对我不好

真的很想改

如果你们看到我有这些行为

请告诉我

骂我也可以

我真的想改掉

想变成一个有责任的，

先苦后甜，

讲话经过大脑的，

钱不会乱乱花的人

可以吧~

哈哈

我真的矛盾

我真的很矛盾阿

觉得看了的人都会打我

现在是我的考试期间

但是我都没什么动到书

有拉，跟朋友去图书馆的时候

可是今天我真的不是很想去

但是不去我就不太会读书，

past year我已经看过了

感觉上不是很难

可是那个是看上去

真正做的时候

感觉又会不一样了

难道不是吗？

哈哈

感觉上这整个sems我都过的很颓废

而下个sem我还打算拿7科

应该没问题的

学会那里比较不active就没问题了

哈哈

这些都是我的预想拉了

到那个时候会怎样我真的不知道

希望会跟我想象的一样哦

但是，那里会有那么的完美的~

矛盾根懒惰这两样东西

跟了我很多年了

我真的有点累了

可以把你们放下吗？

我会舍得放下你们吗？

可能放下了你们一段时间又会去找回你们的了

真的矛盾到~

真的希望可以放下了就真的放下吧

不太想要有这种感觉了

快快地走开好吗？

我真的累了

~

~爱的宣言~

To :某某馨

我不是什么浪漫的人，也不是很厉害讲话的人，更不懂女生在想什么的人。我知道跟我在一起会很辛苦，所以，我可以做的就只是守候，尽我的所能做我能做的东西。

对你的爱，可以讲是满过我心里的杯， 只是，有些时候我们会有一些不同的想法不同的意见，

但是我还是那么的喜欢你。

至于浪漫，我真的给不到，跟不用说是安慰别人，那个是我最不擅长的一门学问，开始很慢很慢的改进着哦。哈哈

有些时候，我真的在想我是不是你想要得，我给不到你想要得哦。真的想放弃，但是到最后我还是坚持下去了，因为我爱你

最后，这一片东西我真的不知道你看了会有什么反应，但是，我可以跟你讲的是我想到什么就写什么~都很original一下的哦

哈哈

某某尧上

no feeling..

lately alot of things not really got feel

just got a feel that wanna let go everything and just float on the water

and see where it leads me...

really strongly got this kind of feel

duno really no why,

just suddenly felt that..

and for today.

i really slept thru it.

and felt kinda empty.

wanna find something to fill in the emptiness

but somehow lost on the way to find my way to fill in.

after yc with friends here

i start feel i am very zi bi here

most thing i do is just keep quiet and listen

nothing much

dont feel like talking and even wanna talk also duno what to talkabout

so i will just choose to be silence and listen

wuwu

and when back home

xin called,

she asked me to see the gsc ticket..

then she asked i dun wanna know who is the person is?

she went out with another person ,

duno boy or gal,

i answered i dun really want to know,

somehow i felt that that is what my brain told me,

but my body told me that it is wrong.

after that we both ended the call,

and i really wanted to know who the person is

but even though i know le

still she will go out with the person,

so i choose to trust her choice.

maybe after u read it

u will think that i am a jerk or really stupid.

i admit i am stupid ><

so just do what i can and give it all i got ba..

going to hv finals in 19,21,23 december ...

haiz..