stupid me ~~

recently i know that i did alot of things that made my family and friends very very worry about me.
maybe i am like my friend said i am...
very good at dealing with stress...
but i still hv stress in the end...
most of all ,
i really know that my time left is like few days to go
and i am still being naughty..
this is not the time to be naughty
but is the time to put all my heart into it and STUDY ~~
when u believe u can, you can ~~~
must hv positive thinking leh ~~
now is not the time to hv doubt ><
everyone is worry about me..
so i cant make them worry cos of me...
sometimes i really think that i am selfish..
cos in a way, i know someone cared 4 me..
and in another way, i know this will hurt those who cared 4 me..
i am really selfish, stubborn and sometimes arrogant.. ><
maybe that why i always get into troubles...
and make those around me hurt or worry...
such childish act
really sorry guys...

blek~~~

Psytopic分析：您的性格类型是“ESFP”(外向+实感+情感+知觉)

外向，友善，包容。热爱生活、人类和物质上的享受。喜欢与别人共事。在工作上，讲究常识和实用性，注意现实的情况，使工作富趣味性。富灵活性、即兴性，自然不做作，易接受新朋友和适应新环境。与别人一起学习 新技能可以达到最佳的学习效果。

ESFP型的人乐意与人相处，有一种真正的生活热情。他们顽皮活泼，通过真诚和玩笑使别人感到事情更加有趣。 ESFP型的人脾气随和、适应性强，热情友好和慷慨大方。他们擅长交际，常常是别人的“注意中心”。他们热 情而乐于合作地参加各种活动和节目，而且通常立刻能应对几种活动。 ESFP型的人是现实的观察者，他们按照事物的本身去对待并接受它们。他们往往信任自己能够听到、闻到、触摸和看到的事物，而不是依赖于理论上的 解释。因为他们喜欢具体的事实，对于细节有很好的记忆力，所以他们能从亲身的经历中学到最好的东西。共同的感觉给予他们与人和物相处的实际能力。他们喜欢收集信息，从中观察可能自然出现的解决方法。 ESFP型的 人对于自我和他人都能容忍和接受，往往不会试图把自己的愿望强加于他人。ESFP型的人通融和有同情心，通常许多人都真心地喜欢他们。他们能够让别人采纳他们的建议，所以他们很擅于帮助冲突的各方重归于好。他们 寻求他人的陪伴，是很好的交淡者。他们乐于帮助旁人，偏好以真实有形的方式给予协助。ESFP型的人天真率直，很有魅力和说服力。他们喜欢意料不到的事情，喜欢寻找给他人带来愉快和意外惊喜的方法。

您适合的领域有：消费类商业、服务业领域 广告业、娱乐业领域 旅游业、社区服务等

您适合的职业有：

· 公关专业人士
· 劳工关系调解人
· 零售经理
· 商品规划师
· 团队培训人员
· 旅游项目经营者
· 演员
· 特别事件的协调人
· 社会工作者
· 旅游销售经理
· 融资者
· 保险代理／经纪人
· 幼教老师
· 职业策划咨询师
· 旅游管理/导游
· 促销员
· 海洋生物学家
· 精品店、商场销售人员
· 娱乐、餐饮业客户经理
· 房地产销售人员
· 汽车销售人员
· 市场营销人员（消费类产品）
· 广告企业中的设计师
· 创意人员
· 客户经理
· 时装设计和表演人员
· 摄影师
· 节目主持人
· 脱口秀演员
· 社区工作人员
· 自愿工作者
· 公共关系专家
· 健身和运动教练
· 医护人员


ps : 准不准我就不太懂也~~
不过，你们可以试下哦
http://www.psytopic.com/mag/post/mbti-career-personality-test-psytopic-special-edition.html

thank you ^^

really thank you both for those precious comments ^^
really appreciate it ^^
and minxian sorry bout yesterday...
hope u wont mind la...
hehe...
i will try those way within these coming days...
hope it works ^^
really thx for those comment..
it really helped^^
even though now i shouldnt be online ing..
still just write blog then i will off it..
so really thx ya..
i will do my best in my exam..
no matter how late it is right now..
there's still a chance for miracle to happen de hehe
and i am the miracle...
so gah you o ~~

thx my friends for yesterday also..
really had fun a while..
thx for helping me relax..
but the time a little long lo...
but its ok..
haiz.. gtg now le..
write next time ba ~~
hehe ~~

i realy did it this time..

i really don know
how i can change a...
everytime i wanna study...
my mind says study but my body will eventually turn to tv or com...
just like its 2 different bodies doing things saperately..
haiz..
i really wanna hit wall jor..
today i just studied a little not more than a hour till now...
still got alot of things havent studied in my brain..
maybe my friend said it right..
stpm just one time...
so gambateh with it..
but my habbit and attitute...
really makes me sux man..
i also not sure what to do..
if i do it my way my parents will scold me...
if i do it their way... then i will get rotten in front of com or tv...
what should i do?
really must hv delf detemination?
but how to obtain that?
how to make it last?
kinda felt like very goal i set this year...
isnt a goal anymore..
felt like i am lost and nth is important anymore..
why is that so?
why do i feel like this?
why i cant like m friends so kia shu..
then i will be better than now..
i really done like this but still i am doing this..
haiz...
maybe i am those who say is useless to help

even though i know my mistakes..
but i keep running away from them by using lame excuses..
why do i do these?
these things isnt good for me either way..
stil i am doing it。。。。
why ><
can someone tell me why and teach me how to get out of it?
just need some guidence...
haiz... i really sux...
one of my friend. told me not to have even the slightest negative thought..
and always positive thinking..
that's true
but i keep think of negative things then positive..
over and over..
haiz..
i really am a nub and jerk...
or maybe not..
just wanna say that..
friends think of me as a good boy
in actually i am not..
just that u saw me like that doesnt mean that i am like that..
and i will be a devil once at home or outside school..
duno what i am saying again ><

why cant i settle down and concentrate on one thing for a certain period...
and the period is not 5 min or 15 min ...
it is at least 2 hours...
why cant i do that?
my maximum is 30~60 min ><
haiz...
why cant it be extended?
why i am cant change?
am i afraid of changing?
if u dont adapt changes i will be left behind...
or maybe i am changing in bad way...
is that so?
i wonder...
hhaiz...
need to study le ><

i did it again...

i really did it again...
history is something that will just repeat and repeat
unless we do something about it..
but in my case ...
i still havent did my best to change it..
so my faint maybe will reappear like in spm..
haiz...
cos i really cant control my self from attraction...
and my mom dislike i going outside study...
haiz.. i also duno how to help myself..
maybe is my excuse to get out of the house gua..
still...
i prefer at friend's house study lo..
1 is will pai seh cos those things arent yours..
2 is i cant do anything crazy or stupid to myself
3 i can find some one to ask... if he/she know la..
haiz...
all excuses...
in someway i really think i am always escaping from my problems..
and when i hv the guts to face them ...
the problem already mutated...
then i will escape again...
these kind of reaction will repeat and repeat again...
unless i hv the detemination to change it once and for all..

today when i wake up..
the 1st thing i think de is do past year..
but once i go down stairs the 1st thing i did is open com..
then take the past year out look thru a little
then my head straight turn to the monitor..
and then wait my bro to wake up..
later keep asking him help me up hero..
haha...
really a jerk...
so.. in the game miin and her sis saw my character on..
then she scold me lo..
haiz..
i know i am wrong.. but i am still doing it..
why is that a...
can anyone tell me why?
or this is a way of escaping my problems again?
i also not sure o..
haiz..

really hope can work thru my problems...
amen ... haiz.. left 15 days till that day..
there is no time to cry le..
just act ><
dun day dream le..
gah you....

feeling

these few days really felt like happened a lot of things...
i finally found the song i really like...
it is stay by estrella
really love it ^^
hehe
i hv been finding this song like ages..
but really happy when i found it..
haha..
today my mom ngam me again le..
but for the 1st time i really listens to what she is saying...
and it really helps in some way..
cos i am learning to empty my cup when i am listening
and digesting in the same time..
kinda cool..
cos she is teaching me the way of life..
where it is a precious lesson for me...
but for some reasons...
i felt like i wanna change for the better..
instead my old habbits keep resurfaces again and again
when i am on my way of changing...
sometimes really frustrated...
i will keep trying...

i have been thinking of alot of things...
mostly of what i hv done in the pass few years..
and what i really wanna study for my future..
still havent decided yet..
and for my past i felt regret..
cos i really done alot of wrong things eventually...
maybe it might be my imagination
but i dun think so...
and sometimes i really think i am a jerk + nerd + freak + cowrd...
haiz...
in the end of that equation , the result is horrible..
even i also duno how to say of it...><

why do i say such horrible things of my self?
maybe i am really that horrible
just that i didnt let it out???
i also not sure about that...
haha ...
i keep having doubt bout myself..
haiz..
in some way, i really hate my self for some of my bad habbits..
and my mindset..
1st of all , i kinda forgetfull and seldom kept my promise...
2nd of that , i often just think and didnt act at all...
3nd of that, i love to wait till last minutes only get the job done..
just by thinking of them , kinda wanna kill myself..
even though i know everyone has their own bad habbits..
but mine is like very bad...
and it hurts not just me but the one around me...
maybe i think too much? or maybe not?

haiz..
getting blurish on what i am writing...
so i stop here for a while ba..
continue next time...
blek...