i did it again...

i really did it again...
history is something that will just repeat and repeat
unless we do something about it..
but in my case ...
i still havent did my best to change it..
so my faint maybe will reappear like in spm..
haiz...
cos i really cant control my self from attraction...
and my mom dislike i going outside study...
haiz.. i also duno how to help myself..
maybe is my excuse to get out of the house gua..
still...
i prefer at friend's house study lo..
1 is will pai seh cos those things arent yours..
2 is i cant do anything crazy or stupid to myself
3 i can find some one to ask... if he/she know la..
haiz...
all excuses...
in someway i really think i am always escaping from my problems..
and when i hv the guts to face them ...
the problem already mutated...
then i will escape again...
these kind of reaction will repeat and repeat again...
unless i hv the detemination to change it once and for all..

today when i wake up..
the 1st thing i think de is do past year..
but once i go down stairs the 1st thing i did is open com..
then take the past year out look thru a little
then my head straight turn to the monitor..
and then wait my bro to wake up..
later keep asking him help me up hero..
haha...
really a jerk...
so.. in the game miin and her sis saw my character on..
then she scold me lo..
haiz..
i know i am wrong.. but i am still doing it..
why is that a...
can anyone tell me why?
or this is a way of escaping my problems again?
i also not sure o..
haiz..

really hope can work thru my problems...
amen ... haiz.. left 15 days till that day..
there is no time to cry le..
just act ><
dun day dream le..
gah you....