confidence

confidence is something really valuable
and is also something i dont really have.
Maybe u can say that everyone have it in them
to be honest,
i know that i dont really have
confident is something u really need to build within
and not just change ur look then u will become confident.
if its that easy then
everyone would be like almost da same ~
haha.

this i am really learning
but after learning need practical de a..
practical is something that i sux at..
always fail at practical...
sometimes really dun like it .
enough of me ~
i will write something about what happened today~

today hor...
very late only wake up,
can be pig ad
wake up then sleep back
then wake up..
did this action repeatedly...
then my mom called
and say no need fetch ur bro o ~
when i prepared everything
waiting my car .... kancil that is
to back home..
my dad drove it back and came in
just to pass me my lunch
then he went to fetch my bro back to da shop
to eat lunch
which i dont really like the amount they bought ><
sometimes want more also cant ...
cos need think dao others a..
if i had more then others cant hv it lo...
that is what i think la..

later, my mom called again around 3 something,
she called to ask me later no go out o...
and said,
i pay the RM 1,873
when u want come out work o...
that is the stupid contract i sign with my mom
just to study MMU ...
if i didnt do that
she wont give the money ...
i got tried to tell her
she help give 1st
later i lend ptptn then give back her...

but hor guess what she said to me after i told her i going to lend ptptn...
she said i am stupid to lend it...
and her friend , another auntie also said i stupid...
they say i am stupid cos i go lend ptptn and need give back + interest...
if i sign that stupid contract
my mom will give money i stupid and no need give back...
so this is the point she wanna express
so she said i am stupid..
but hor..
my family bought a new house at cheras , the peak there...
duno where la..
just know how to go there..
need renovate and bought new furnitures leh...
i lend ptptn is dun 1 depend on them a..
am i wrong for thinking like that...
really duno why she wanna think like that..
even though i know among all my siblings
i am the one my parents spend alot of money on...
others all study gov. sch
just me study private. sch
that i know...

and hor...
since last friday ,
i keep out whole day till today...
even my dad start to ngam ...
and these few days i just outing
and didn do anything other things..
haiz..
just out only lo..
i didnt ask money from them
they also will ngam...
more important i am boy lo..
not a girl,,
if i am , then i dun hv a thing to say
but i m a boy,
so , isnt it ok for me to come back late?
weird concepts...
dont know how i can withstand it for nearly 20 years...
haha ~
kinda proud of myself...

enough writing la..
need slip le
although i still not sleepy..
haha~
nvm go sleep lo...