the thought.

starting from that day she asked me that question.

i really thinked about it.

am i really that bad that she wanted to have that ending

or am i really not enough for her?

the 2nd 1 is more possible...

really been thinking lately...

then my feel for her getting someone better is stronger le

i know i aint the person that she can really be happy with

cause alot of things that she wanted i canot just simply canot

i also duno why.

since yesterday incident ,

will going to turn out less from now on,

maybe somewhere in my heart it really hurts.

for some reason ,

yesterday is the time i canot take it

then burst like that.

really felt that if she really wanted it then so be it.

after that msg,

been driving on the high ways,

just keep driving ,

really felt that needed to hv a place calm to let me pack myself

again ,

and

what's done is done

no matter how u try to undone

damage is already done,

and sorry really is no cure ,

and i canot do anything to atone it

i really scare i will cause more dmg

or

maybe really my fault that u are hurt,

i am the 1 that always hurt u,

i will be away from u now on ,

u wont get hurt by me anymore,

just had 1 wish ,

hope u can let me see it,

be happy and enjoy ur life ya ^^.

to someone that i loved and will still always be,

walao... miracle...

yesterday and today really a miracle...

because i studied infront of the pc for 3 whole hours...

from 9 something to 11 something at night...

then i tried to get to sleep...

i cant...

my brain really like full of energy cant stop thinking of things...

and my body like very tired...

just that my brain dun let me sleep...

been lying on bed for the whole night...

keep wake and lay on bed

keep do that for few times..

till now 5.24am...

in the morning..

wtf...

why like this a..

later 9am got exam summore..

really swt la..

aiyo...

really too miss someone

or just my brain a bit too excited?

cos today last paper jor?

duno o

haiz...

really a...

duno what to say myself...

原来...

原来我是个有少爷脾气，

先甜后苦，

有钱就乱乱花，

讲话很容易得罪人

的一个人。

这些缺点真的有点觉得自己很有问题

可是，有谁会没有问题？

我的问题就可能会对我不好

真的很想改

如果你们看到我有这些行为

请告诉我

骂我也可以

我真的想改掉

想变成一个有责任的，

先苦后甜，

讲话经过大脑的，

钱不会乱乱花的人

可以吧~

哈哈

我真的矛盾

我真的很矛盾阿

觉得看了的人都会打我

现在是我的考试期间

但是我都没什么动到书

有拉，跟朋友去图书馆的时候

可是今天我真的不是很想去

但是不去我就不太会读书，

past year我已经看过了

感觉上不是很难

可是那个是看上去

真正做的时候

感觉又会不一样了

难道不是吗？

哈哈

感觉上这整个sems我都过的很颓废

而下个sem我还打算拿7科

应该没问题的

学会那里比较不active就没问题了

哈哈

这些都是我的预想拉了

到那个时候会怎样我真的不知道

希望会跟我想象的一样哦

但是，那里会有那么的完美的~

矛盾根懒惰这两样东西

跟了我很多年了

我真的有点累了

可以把你们放下吗？

我会舍得放下你们吗？

可能放下了你们一段时间又会去找回你们的了

真的矛盾到~

真的希望可以放下了就真的放下吧

不太想要有这种感觉了

快快地走开好吗？

我真的累了

~

~爱的宣言~

To :某某馨

我不是什么浪漫的人，也不是很厉害讲话的人，更不懂女生在想什么的人。我知道跟我在一起会很辛苦，所以，我可以做的就只是守候，尽我的所能做我能做的东西。

对你的爱，可以讲是满过我心里的杯， 只是，有些时候我们会有一些不同的想法不同的意见，

但是我还是那么的喜欢你。

至于浪漫，我真的给不到，跟不用说是安慰别人，那个是我最不擅长的一门学问，开始很慢很慢的改进着哦。哈哈

有些时候，我真的在想我是不是你想要得，我给不到你想要得哦。真的想放弃，但是到最后我还是坚持下去了，因为我爱你

最后，这一片东西我真的不知道你看了会有什么反应，但是，我可以跟你讲的是我想到什么就写什么~都很original一下的哦

哈哈

某某尧上

no feeling..

lately alot of things not really got feel

just got a feel that wanna let go everything and just float on the water

and see where it leads me...

really strongly got this kind of feel

duno really no why,

just suddenly felt that..

and for today.

i really slept thru it.

and felt kinda empty.

wanna find something to fill in the emptiness

but somehow lost on the way to find my way to fill in.

after yc with friends here

i start feel i am very zi bi here

most thing i do is just keep quiet and listen

nothing much

dont feel like talking and even wanna talk also duno what to talkabout

so i will just choose to be silence and listen

wuwu

and when back home

xin called,

she asked me to see the gsc ticket..

then she asked i dun wanna know who is the person is?

she went out with another person ,

duno boy or gal,

i answered i dun really want to know,

somehow i felt that that is what my brain told me,

but my body told me that it is wrong.

after that we both ended the call,

and i really wanted to know who the person is

but even though i know le

still she will go out with the person,

so i choose to trust her choice.

maybe after u read it

u will think that i am a jerk or really stupid.

i admit i am stupid ><

so just do what i can and give it all i got ba..

going to hv finals in 19,21,23 december ...

haiz..

懒惰

最近都很懒惰

真的

我自己也不太懂为什么

哈哈

真的

连今天又考试我都我行我素的

哈哈

真的不懂会不会拿到比较好的成绩

加上明年一整年都是long long long...

假期就变少了

真的可以应付的来吗？

以我这样懒惰的性格

真的可以？

每次将要改

到最后还是没有什么进展的

真的不懂我这20

年的人生是怎样过的

头痛~为什么我是这样的一个人？

haiz....

somehow

somehow i started to think that

i am letting history repeats itself...

somehow i felt that i have lived b4 and did something bad...

just felt that suddenly...

i am repeating my actions when i am in my high schools...

and somehow

i dont think it will be good when it continues to manifest...

then what should i do?

stop it?

or let it be?

or maybe run away?

but if i choose to run away

i dont think i have any place to run anymore...

just thinking that running isnt an option anymore

so have to face it now...

but what will it be?

stop it? how?

or let it be?

if i choose to let it be

then it would have a bad ending in the end...

so?

only option now is to stop it

but how?

any help?

haha....

been changing a little lately..

starting to force myself to read before going to bed..

and i want it to become my habbit

so doing it slowly...

hehe

and somehow that is the habbit i think will help me calm a little

haha

somehow...

i hope i will change into a new person.

and start my life as a new 1

but i cant...

cos there are doubts and worried...

woondering now ...

been wondered for quite some time

so maybe it is time to stop wonder

and settle down a little

PS : the things is nothing serious nor scary...

so dont ask ok....

thanks ...

inside meaning....

i aint a person which is really good at interpretating meaning..

and i will usually just look at the surface of the words..

then straight think it is..

cos i wont think too much...

maybe because of this

i am easy to trust ppl

or give ppl cheat ba..

also not sure at all..

haha

somehow, i felt that i don really hv a meaning for my life...

finding that really takes alot..

i really hope got someone or something that can guide me...

that day , i went to pangkor with 3 friends...

for me , i am a bit superstision...

so i will go for "qui qian"

the result not really good...

it said my mouth will attracts troubles..

so lately i been keeping my mouth shut..

until today ,

really felt that chatting with best friends and friends really got big difference..

in mmu,

i am a quiet and shy person...

and seldom talks...

but back KL

i wont..

even though

really besides best friends...

normal friends didnt find me at all..

unless got special events...

so, starting to felt that friends really are important..

haha...

maybe i am thinking too much...

people and me

for me i am a weirdo ...

i pays attention to how ppl behave...

but i wont remember the details of things...

and i care more about friends than family.

and i always uses more than i keep

and i love to make myself suffer

and do alot of stupid things

and i mind what ppl thinks about me.

and i love to do things last minutes ...

and for someone i loved,

they will feel frustrating and irritating

as i always wont inform them where and when i am

so, alot of arguements always comes out from different point of view

i really think that i am stupid and weird in alot of ways

haha...

now canot sleep...

i also duno why

keep turning for half an hour

still cant sleep

then just wake up and online lu..

tmr 10 am class..

got quiz summore...

duno what to do now

><

结婚

刚去了碧洁的wedding buffet

哈哈

真地没有想过我身边的朋友会这么得快结婚

真的没有

也很惊讶

然后呢

也看到很多很久没有联络了得朋友

但是hor

就是很像不认识一样

不懂要讲什么

我都是静静的听他们讲话

哈哈

然后就是

我跟筱连的问题

我跟她只是很好的朋友罢了

我们连续同班了3年哦

哈哈

他们每个都觉得我跟她有东西

还问我们及时派帖

halooooo

醒来了没有

我跟她真的没有东西

haiz..

所以我决定了

下次一定要带馨出去

不然hor

不懂他们又在想些什么了

过后我就去了xian的家打麻将

哈哈

真地很好笑以下

最近的我好像很喜欢吃东西这样

要不然就是我犯贱

嘴巴一直都在痒

想mum东西

哈哈

这一个月来

我都失眠到很严重

都到4~6am才睡觉

真地觉得我很可怕

我也不懂为什么我会这样

haiz...

不是每一句“对不起”，都能换来一句“没关系”。

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

13th Oct 2009

on the day of 12th oct 2009

in the evening ,

i really got a headache ...

but my dear keep wanted me to wake up..

so i tried and stay awake..

then at around midnight.

they come to my house and gave me the cake..

it was surprising and happy u know..

it really was !!

then i cant really sleep ad..

till 3 something only sleep

then the next day need 7 something wake up.

zzz

suffering o...

wanna go shop tolong..

cause of the stupid contract...

and in the evening...

i going out...

when i went back home to change cloth and prepare to go ts..

my mom stopped me on the stairs..

she suddenly very angry said..

this morning i told u we going to eat vegie ...together..

then i tell her..

u should know i am going out...

and i will go out..

she said is it friends really more important than family?

at that time i really wanted to answer yes.

but i choose to be silence at the moment.

so , in the end i went out to ts

when i arrive to ts.

it is just a small celebration

including me 4 ppl

but was great though

hehe

and they bought me perfume...

really kinda swt...

haha

really funny

the photos i later upload.

我的叛逆行为

最近发现，我的叛逆行为又回来了

可是，有一点我不明白。

有些时候，我是真地睡不着就打电脑咯

我妈妈就会认为我是在叛逆

就是无声无涉的在反抗

我为什么要反抗？

我会反抗的是只有我的那个新家

本来我是很喜欢的

但是，想到三兄弟要睡一间

而姐姐就没人一间

真地很气

所以任何关于到那间家的东西我都不会要去理他

我真的很少爷脾气

哈哈

my cp exam today...

today really had a bad feeling about the exam...

in the end really have one..

><

one of my question i chged the answer

then it is from right to wrong..

then got another 1..

give lecturer laugh..

cos mine is all case written saperately..

and got some i really write wrong...

i really think that the 1 they laughing is my paper...

even though got others la..

still...

really had a bad feeling about the exam..

and now worried bout pass..

really hope will get enough marks to pass.

haiz...

somehow , really felt that i m really a stupid , arrogant jerk...

ppl steady is because they are prepared...

i am relax is because i just do what i know ...

does that really count as prepared?

the day ~..

today is a day i really tired and dono why thought of alot of things
i really think that i am a naughty boy..
during my high school days,
i ad think i very naughty...
now ... i more worse...
just direct gek my mom...
haha..
but really ma..
she always did things her way...
and for some reason
that day i really let out everything..
then just walk back home
just like that...
i really duno why i am capable of doing so..
then think back
i really did till too over..
and made my mom really really sad..
somehow ... i felt i wanted that..
but i kinda regret now..
duno why...

secondly, is about my gf...
just duno what gals always think that...
ad 4 months le..
she still thinks that i will hv someone here
instead of her...
why would i...
i ad tried to tel her that...
even though i know i am very stupid and wood all the time la
still i love her....
haiz...
duno she seeing this anot..
nvm la...
zzz

Assignments....~~

these 2 weeks really really really duno what to say...
2 person in a group ...
de assignment..
my groupmate is also my roomate...
he just say i duno how to do wor...
then what can i do?
haiz..
need to die dim the assignments all by myself
these week i really very angry with him lo..
but what can i do to avoid?
nth ...
just let him know i really not shuang lo..
haiz..
duno he got see dao anot..
because of the assignment..
i ad didn sleep in 2~3 days in a week
so in total is like 6 days didnt really sleep in 2 weeks..
omg..
broke my record ad...
haiz... ><
skipped quite some class this week..
this week is ad last week lecture week..
next week break..
then next next week final start...
omg..
not really studied..
gambateh la..
just come on to type something..
haha

haha

11/10 - 18/10

黃道宮位置： 約在天秤座16-25度

季 節： 初秋

元 素： 風

主宰行星： 金星

象征符號： 天秤

理解事物的方式： 思考、感官

　　天秤三的代表意象是「戲劇」。這段時期相當于人類一生中將近50歲的期間，這時的人們已經完全融入社會，通常也已功成名就或是功敗垂成，他們所要扮演的社會角色已大致抵定，接下來的任務就是如何扮演好這個角色了。為了達到這個目標，最重要的是去發展良好的表達能力，和足以成就大事的影響力及驅動力。當然，他們會希望以愉快且明智的方式來達成這些目標。

　　這段時期象征了充滿自信的中年人，努力在諸多的社會要求中尋求平衡點，以及發揮敏銳的判斷力和穩健的領導能力，并且憑著嗅覺感應生活脈動，來迎合整體大環境的未來潮流。

　　假如莎士比亞說得對，「整個世界是座大舞台」，那么天秤三則是這座舞台上的個中翹楚。他們的專長是把日常生活當做戲劇來演出，同時，這一周出生的人也非常清楚在職場生涯中形象的重要性，所以花了很多的揣摩時間來決定該以何種面貌示人。因此，世人常覺得他們有種超然、甚至冷酷的態度，雖然這只是人們的一種錯覺，有時仍會激怒周遭的眾人。其實，只因為他們對自己的要求嚴格，才讓他們看來好似冷血動物。事實上，天秤三是很有感情的。

　　固執的他們，不論對錯好壞都會經年累月地死守相同的發展方向。他們不計代價地勇往直前，誤解了靜下來休息的真義，因為他們相信坐而言不如起而行。他們甚至沒有經過事前的分析和規畫，只是憑著一時的直覺就一頭栽入貿然的行動當中，這樣魯莽的態度所招致的錯誤，將是相當嚴重的，而各式各樣的意外便可能因此發生了。

　　由于這一周出生的人具有優秀的領導才能，所以常常位居社會團體或公司企業的領導地位，然而又會犯下驕傲、自以為是的錯誤，忽略了這種行為對同事、員工及親人的影響。除此之外，當他們被迫面臨失敗時，將是作夢也想不到的情況，這份震驚簡直讓他們無法承受。所以就長遠來看，如果天秤三能培養謙遜與尊重他人的美德，將會過得更快樂。

　　天秤三如果碰上極大的挫折，可能會變得憤世嫉俗。此時只有愛的力量，才能讓這些歷盡滄桑、心生倦意的人重拾生氣，然而他們最難做到的正是感情的付出。事實上，向忠實的朋友或親人敞開心扉，對天秤三的心理健全很重要。不過，僅管心靈上的幫助或許是個顯而易見的解決辦法，可惜他們通常不愿接受。于是在他們潦倒失意時，愛他們的親朋好友就必須負起沉重的擔子，了解到只剩他們才能夠幫助他們的伙伴繼續邁步向前了。

　　天秤三的飽經世故或許是他們最大的優點。他們的知識、學問和經歷賦予了他們堅強的自信，當他們迎接挑戰時即能無所畏懼、樂在其中。所以几乎毫無例外地，天秤三都能在自己的專業領域中獨領風騷，成為某種專家，即使碰到了不熟悉的領域，也會本能地當成一種挑戰去學習，因為他們希望自己是個博學多聞、消息靈通的人。

　　此外，頑固如他們，卻愿意考慮任何一種想法的可行性，而不管這些想法有多離譜。他們可不是為了公平起見的關系，才將這些意見一一過濾，而是因為他們不愿放過任何增加知識的機會。對這一周出生的人而言，知識就是力量。

　　當他們的情人或配偶覺得受到忽略時，就表示他們私下的人際關系發生困難了。其實，他們本來就不太在乎其它人的感覺，即使遭人誤會的感受很痛苦，他們也依然不改作風，不想了解別人。若是對他們寄予厚望，期待他們能夠付出感情，他們會渾身不自在，不是退縮就是逃開。雖然他們自認是認真的人，很有責任感和道德觀，對于別人卻常常只注意到他們的想法和價值觀，或是這些觀念所代表的意義，忽略了去了解他們是些什么樣的人。

　　天秤三總是喜歡當主角，他們的朋友或另一半就必須扮演陪襯的角色了。然而他們也有不足的一面，需要倚靠他人的補強和協助，所以他們很能與強勢人物搭上線，建立很好的關系，即使受其支配也無所謂﹔不過反過來看，若有人有些依賴他們或完全依賴他們時，卻會令他們手足無措，一心只想逃走。他們一定要覺得自己可以大方地擔下責任才行，而且是出于自己的意愿，不是被人逼迫的。

　　天秤三的人既有男子氣概，也有女性的特質，兩種傾向都很發達。他們會在臥房里極端放肆，因為那是可以完全發泄情緒的地方，只是一旦他們的情緒決堤，噴濺出來的卻可能是憤怒與煩亂，借著爭吵、責難和怪罪一股腦兒地傾倒出來。幸好，他們發起怒來雖然很猛烈，但也不會持續太久，因為他們并不希望兩個人每天吵吵鬧鬧、爭執不休。

　　家庭是可以提供天秤三所需要的愛、支持與欣賞的地方，所以，對他們的情感來說，或許身為家中的活躍份子是最好的一件事。問題是，即使是配偶、小孩或父母等家人，也不是他們特別感興趣的對象﹔他們倒是會尋找值得信任、尊敬的一群老友一起生活、工作或游玩。然而即使如此，有工作狂傾向的他們還是不會花太多時間和任何人相處，反應出他們真正的喜好──獨自過活。

優點：社會化、野心勃勃、博學

缺點：粗率、歸罪于人、太過自信

建議：不要輕易承諾做不到的事。仔細考量自己的所作所為可能引起的反應。雖然有時候需要敷衍假裝一番，但千萬不要欺騙自己。多考慮別人的感受，對于感情方面的事要投入足夠的時間和耐心。

情侶： 雙子巨蟹座　巨蟹-獅子座　處女座一　處女座二　 射手座一　水瓶座一　水瓶座三　水瓶雙魚座　

夫妻： 牡羊座三　獅子處女座　天秤座一　射手座二　 射手魔羯座　魔羯座一

朋友： 牡羊座一　牡羊金牛座　雙子座一　巨蟹座一　 巨蟹座二　獅子座三　處女天秤座　天秤座三　天蠍座一 魔羯座三　水瓶座二　雙魚座二

家人： 金牛座三　金牛雙子座　雙子座二　天秤座二 射手座三　雙魚座三

同事： 金牛座二　雙子座三　巨蟹座三　獅子座二　 天秤天蠍座　魔羯座二　魔羯水瓶座　雙魚座一

link : http://hkluck.com/kn/a01-04.php

things i have to say ~

i know i am a jerk for running away from my problems ..
but now i wont be running away
and i will be running towards my problems...
which i think i need to and have to ..
so i will try my best to cope with this problem lately...
i know no matter what the result is ..
i still will get ngam by few ppl...
which is not a really good feeling...
now i will try my best to deal with it and
for xin , we really need more communication ....
even though that is everyone said that we needed
still theory and practical is 2 diff things...
and i really didnt did it well for the past 2~3 weeks...
still the person i am now
aint the person from before
maybe you will think that i am just blowing water ...
then the only thing i can do is do take action lo...

and i know u guys really care about that..
and i know mostly i my problem
and my communication problem...
which is very lame...
and da both of us like always misunderstood de...
sometimes when she kidding i think is serious
and when i serious she think i kidding...
so aiks....
and for xin,
what i have to say that..
i will do my thing till the end ...
i wont give up ...
even your heart is broken..
i will use glue to stick it back..
or can stick it back
then i will make u a new one ~...
these are my words..
which i think u will think its just nth la..
for me is a new start...
and i really think that going to uni
really can change someone ~
which is a nice experience ^^
------------------------------------------------

my own problem now..
aiks ... money problem again..
my phone bill is like rm180++ ..
omg....
duno how to pay ..
haiz... need eat biscut liao
and for few days later de..
need find money as well..
going for sungkai and lost world of tambun trip..
tourism club de ice breaking trip..
rm 95 a..
so ex...
haiz...
become comms..
so go see see lo..
gah you ^^

i am doing it again...

for me to my family i kinda like to hide things from them...
and as now...
i am kinda hiding things from my gf which is not telling her...
i am going out with some one which is one of my "sister"..
dun think too much pls..
for some reason,
i didnt really wanna go for tonight's lian's homecoming,
even though we are friends,
still not really got da mood...
and then xian called me ask wanna go starbuck anot...
and i didnt told my dear
cos i told her i am staying home...
so i really screwed up big times...
i know she might think that me and her got something and for my info
i think she really thinks alot,
what ideas she coming up also not sure,
aiks,,,
i am doomed...
just felt like wanna run away from things...
which most of the time i did,
and end up having bad results
or even worse lose a friend or so,
i know i am the worst friend ever
haiz..
now really duno what to think ....
thinking any of this really scares me...
as for now
she really angry.
just that i also not sure what to do now...
aiks...
kinda felt like i am doomed...

23/7

its been like duno how long since i last posted something here ~
kinda think that uni lifestyle really can change someone...
that is for me la..
just felt that in some where some part of me is changing...
maybe my uni friends might have the chance to see my bad side..
which i think some of u guys kinda wanna see..
just felt that la..
and in this new place..
really like starting something new...
just a unknown person starting over...
and everything here is unfamiliar
and dont have anyone to relay on ...
which is kinda a hell new experience..
still coping with it
haha~...

duno ....

alot of things happened lately..
i know that what happens to me
really aint a big dear to ppl around me...
they will just said oh... really o?
after hearding something bad about that person...
still i dont really think i care ?
really stupid of me
always doubting myself...
and writing something stupid...
haha
sorry for the one reading....
really sorry
haha ~
everyone is going on their own journey le..
and how bout me?
just starting my new journey and ending my old one?
and i really hate my self....
bcos i always didnt things dont hv a closing de..
which means i always did things half half only ...
the other half always very cincai finish it..
but the cincai also cant cope the problem..
and now i am running away from some ><
really stupid of me...
what's the point of running away ....
when i am the one the cause of the problem...
just come out and say it clearly then can le la ...
haiz..

i also duno what i am writing jor ><
aiks...
stupid la....
haiz...

lately

lately i haven been doing stupid things...
in hostel
my living style is like class > hostel
then nothing to go...
like become 宅男 ad le...
lolz..
and i started to choose to run away from my problems..
which i dont really know how to deal it...
i also duno how ><
and lately need to take more initiative le..
alot of things reallyneed t take acion ourself first only go class
really hard...
zzzz
duno what to write le ><
haiz...

“ 奉献您的爱心，一起点燃生命 ”/“ We Care We Share ”

“ 奉献您的爱心，一起点燃生命 ”/“ We Care We Share ”
【合作/Corperate】: 大马SJ之家 (MYSJ) 和 Lions Club of Sentul

Credits to: Super Junior Malaysia Fans-site (MYSJ)
www.mysj-home.com
http://mysj-home.blogspot.com/

hope you all can join this blood donation charity activity..^^

p/s:For more information please refer to http:mysj-home.blogspot.com

很有意识的歌词

这首歌是我老婆send给我的
我就的前半段
跟我和她的情况很像
几乎一样
除了分手那一段

哈哈
link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDHoxCAMevg&fmt=18

7년을 만났죠.
Chil nyeo neul man nat jyo
相爱7年了.
아무도 우리가 이렇게 쉽게 이별 할줄은 몰랐죠
Ah mu do wu rig a yi reoh ge swib ge yi byeol hal ju reun mo lat jyo
怎么也都没想到 我们这么简单就离别了
그래도 우리는 헤어져 버렸죠 긴 시간 쌓아왔던 기억을 남긴채
geu rae do wu ri neun he eo jyeo ba ryeo jyo gin shi gan ssa ha wat deon gi eo geul nam kin chae
尽管如此 我们还是 分手了 抛弃了 留下的 只有那时间无尽的回忆

우린 어쩜 너무 어린 나이에 서로를 만나 기댔는지 몰라
wu rin eo jjeom neo mu eo rin na yi e seo ro reul man na gi daet neun ji ma la
不知道年少的我们怎么会那么期待见面
변해가는 우리 모습들을 감당하기 어려웠는지도
byeon hae ga neun wu ri mo seum deu reun kam dang ha gi eo ryeo wot neun ji do
渐渐的 我们连见上一面都变得那么困难.
이별하면 아프다고 하던데, 그런것도 느낄수가 없었죠
yi byeo ra myeon ah peu da go ha deo n de geu reon geot do neu ggil su ga eob sseot jyo
知道离别的话会很痛 那样应该就没有感觉了
그저 그냥 그런가봐 하며 담담했는데
Geu jeo geu nyang geu reon ga bwa ha myeo dam dam haet neun de
那样的平静

울었죠. 우우우.
Wu reot jyo wu wu wu
哭了 wuwuwu
시간이 가면서 내게준.아쉬움에 그리움에, 내맘과는 다른 나의 맘을 보면서
Shi ga nig a myeon seo nae ge jun ah swi wu me geu ri wu me na ei ma meul bo myeon seo
离别的时间里我依然在留恋着 看着跟我想法不一样的心
처음엔 친구로, 다음에는 연인사이로, 헤어지면 가까스로 친구사이라는 그말 정말 맞는데
cheo eu men chin gu ro da eu me neun yeo nin sa yi ro he eo ji myeon ga gga seu ro chin gu sa I geu mal jeong mal mat neun de
一开始是朋友 接下来成了恋人 如果分手的话 那还能是朋友 那句话是对的

그후로 3년을 보내는 동안에도 가끔씩 서로에게 연락을 했었죠
geu hu ro sam nyeo neul bo nae neun dong a ne do ga ggeun sshik seo ro e ge yeon ra geul hae sseot jyo
之后三年的时间里 偶尔也会联络

다른 한 사람을 만나 또다시 사랑하게 되었으면서도 난
da reun han sa ra meul man na ddo das hi sa rang ha ge dwe eo sse myeon seo do nan
遇到了别的人 又再次爱上了别的人
슬플때면 항상 전화를 걸어 소리없이 눈물만 흘리고
seul peul ddae myeon hang sang jeon hwa reul geo reo so ri eob shi nun mul man heul ri do
常常痛苦的打着电话 没有声音的留下眼泪
"너도 좋은 사람 만나야된다." 마음에도 없는 말을 하면서
“neo do joh eun sa ram man nay a dwen da” ma eu me do eob neun ma reu ra myeon seo
"你也遇到个好人吧"说着不是心里想的话
아직 나를 좋아하나 괜히 돌려 말했죠.
Ah jik na reul joh wa ha na gwe n idol ryeo mal haet jyo
想无意间的问你是否还喜欢我

알아요. 우우우.
ah ra yo wu wu wu
明白了 wuwuwu
서로 가장 순수했었던 그때 그런 사랑 다시 할수없다는걸, 추억으로 남을뿐
seo ro ga jang sun su hae sseot deon geu ddae geu reon sa rang das hi hal sue ob da neun geol chu eo geu ro na meul bbun
以前最单纯的那段爱情再也不能重来 只能留在回忆里
가끔씩 차가운 그앨 느낄때도 있어요
Ga geum sshik cha ga wun geu ael neu kkil ddae do yi sseo yo
有时候 突然的 感觉到以前的那段时光
하지만 이제는 아무것도 요구할수 없다는걸 잘 알죠.
ha ji man yi je neun ah mu geot do yo gu hal sue ob da neun geol ja ral jyo.
可是我知道现在不能再要求什么了

"나 이제 결혼해" 그 애의 말 듣고 한참을 아무 말도 할수가 없었죠.
“na yi je geo rhon hae” geu ae ei mal deud go han cha meul ah mu mal do hal su ga eob sseo jyo
那天 听到你说 "我要结婚了"的一刻 我什么话都说不出来了
그리곤 울었죠. 그 애 마지막 말. "사랑해.."
geu ri gon wu reot jyo geu ae ma ji mak mal “sa rang hae”
然后 哭了 那天最后的一句:我爱你...
듣고싶던 그 한 마디 때문에
Deud go ship deon geu han ma di ddae mu ne
因为想听到的那句话…

缘分

缘分这东西真的很奥妙
我可以和我现在的女朋友在一起
是一种缘分把
可是，
我们一起后
开始慢慢发觉我们
有点有缘无分的感觉
有点像以前的一部戏“向左走，向右走”
我们两个都有像
就比如说
那天我要回宿舍
我刚离开家不久
她就到我的家了

真的觉得我们可以在一起
真的是一种奇迹
而且她也蛮迁就我的
我想我真得不应该
所以我都在选择性的放弃一些东西~
也希望可以把~

我妈妈她
现在更加的anti我出去
我要出也比较难了
老婆他约了我
到最后都不会去不成
真地想找个墙
撞下去
一了百了
可是不可以阿~
我要Take 100% responsibility of my life ...
gambateh a !!

today is special

today is a bit diff from da other days..
today i went out le whole day..
and meet my dear de friends..
all crazy and funny
in some way
i really felt that i am old
and duno how to social le..
why like that a..
social skill really is important a..
and i aint improving ><
aiks..
and after my dear's friends went back
we meet up with cammy a while
her look really OL...
haha ~
still pretty la... ( dun hit ma a dear)
and our relationship seems getting better..
so no worries ba...
dear
even after i went to MMu
i still will sms and call u de..
cos my parents dun wan buy me da laptop...
haiz..
cos i very naughty
keep go out
so how?
my initial plan is
this week all to my family de..
just for that laptop ><
but now cant le..
selfish right?
aiks..
so bad of me...
nvm ba..
everything as u guys planned..
and i cant do anything with it
but to follow..
if not will get kill by ALOt and i mean Alot
of ppl..
so...
haha..

need sleep lo..
tmr need fetch my sis to KLIA
need reach there by 930am...
after that then i go my new school
pass some document which i missed..
then find a OC
then back hom lo..
really need to learn to SOcial ><
haha
nightz ~

read read ~~

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two



1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
我愛你不是因為你是誰，而是我在你面前可以是誰。

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
沒有男人或女人是值得你為他流眼淚，值得的那一位，不會要你哭。

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
那人不是你所想般愛你，但不代表那人不是全心全意地愛你。

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
一個真正的朋友是向著你伸手，觸動你心靈的人。

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
掛念一個人最差的方式，就是你坐在他身旁，而知道你不能擁有他。

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
就算你不快樂也不要皺眉，因為你永不知道誰會愛上你的笑容。

7.. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
在世界裡你可能只是某人，但對某人你可能是全世界。

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
不要花時間在一個不會花時間在你身上的人。

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
可能神要我們在遇到那位對的人之前先遇上一些錯的人，讓我們遇到那位對先生/對小姐時懂得珍惜。

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
不要因為完結而哭，要為曾經發生而微笑。

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
這個世界永遠也會有一些傷害你的人，你要做的就是繼續去信人和小心你下次信的人。

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
在你嘗試了解其他人和盼望其他人明白你之前，先把你自己變成一個更好的人和了解你自己。

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
不要太努力去找，最好的東西是在你最預計不到的時候出現。

relationship 2

lately i noticed that
me and her like kinda got communication problem...
maybe cos i too quiet?
even together with her..
i will just be quiet ...
and today she asked something that really shocked ~
she asked do i like/love her? ( she ask in msn)
after that question she offed her msn...
i replied that i like her ~
if not why wanna b together with her..
maybe i dont know how to express myself ba..
or i am really that quiet and noob
to let her think that way.
she really thinks alot bout our relationship.
and for me i just let it flow naturaly..
is it my problem?
i think it is...
now the most big problem is
to let her think that i dont hv feelings for her..
really syoked..

and if u are reading
in da car, my answer is not 100%
ur phone call that scolded me
then u hung up,
at that moment, i really emo,
cos of my habit made u angry
and cos of me made u like very unhappy
and bcos of that
i decided to go
i dun wanna see u unhappy
but i felt like i will make u unhappy without my notice..
like just now
i think back and reliase
i was wrong back than
just u didn express it..
i know u wanted us to sweet sweet
rather than see me work on the stupid modem right?

aiks.. my habit really...
write till here ba..
night ~

test ~

i not really believe lo ><
haha ~


鉴定结果
您的心理年龄25岁

与您实际年龄差5岁

幼稚度44％

成熟度57％

老化度17％

the website = http://www.xlzx.com/xlcs/zy32.htm

go try try ^^

confidence

confidence is something really valuable
and is also something i dont really have.
Maybe u can say that everyone have it in them
to be honest,
i know that i dont really have
confident is something u really need to build within
and not just change ur look then u will become confident.
if its that easy then
everyone would be like almost da same ~
haha.

this i am really learning
but after learning need practical de a..
practical is something that i sux at..
always fail at practical...
sometimes really dun like it .
enough of me ~
i will write something about what happened today~

today hor...
very late only wake up,
can be pig ad
wake up then sleep back
then wake up..
did this action repeatedly...
then my mom called
and say no need fetch ur bro o ~
when i prepared everything
waiting my car .... kancil that is
to back home..
my dad drove it back and came in
just to pass me my lunch
then he went to fetch my bro back to da shop
to eat lunch
which i dont really like the amount they bought ><
sometimes want more also cant ...
cos need think dao others a..
if i had more then others cant hv it lo...
that is what i think la..

later, my mom called again around 3 something,
she called to ask me later no go out o...
and said,
i pay the RM 1,873
when u want come out work o...
that is the stupid contract i sign with my mom
just to study MMU ...
if i didnt do that
she wont give the money ...
i got tried to tell her
she help give 1st
later i lend ptptn then give back her...

but hor guess what she said to me after i told her i going to lend ptptn...
she said i am stupid to lend it...
and her friend , another auntie also said i stupid...
they say i am stupid cos i go lend ptptn and need give back + interest...
if i sign that stupid contract
my mom will give money i stupid and no need give back...
so this is the point she wanna express
so she said i am stupid..
but hor..
my family bought a new house at cheras , the peak there...
duno where la..
just know how to go there..
need renovate and bought new furnitures leh...
i lend ptptn is dun 1 depend on them a..
am i wrong for thinking like that...
really duno why she wanna think like that..
even though i know among all my siblings
i am the one my parents spend alot of money on...
others all study gov. sch
just me study private. sch
that i know...

and hor...
since last friday ,
i keep out whole day till today...
even my dad start to ngam ...
and these few days i just outing
and didn do anything other things..
haiz..
just out only lo..
i didnt ask money from them
they also will ngam...
more important i am boy lo..
not a girl,,
if i am , then i dun hv a thing to say
but i m a boy,
so , isnt it ok for me to come back late?
weird concepts...
dont know how i can withstand it for nearly 20 years...
haha ~
kinda proud of myself...

enough writing la..
need slip le
although i still not sleepy..
haha~
nvm go sleep lo...

news spreads ~

i really didnt know my blog got so many fanz
haha ~
that i really dont know.
as i wrote the relationship post
almost all of 7s1 knew it ad
and some of 6s2 also know le
haha
news really spread fast.
and this week alot of things happened and need to settle
esspecially for my relationship ...
still new in tat
alot of things aint too good at handling.
hehe ~
now is learning in process

relationship really is something hard to explain..
having relationship with someone
isnt easy and need time and effort to maintain it..
which is the most difficult part of it.
for me right now really nth much
felt sweet every morning and before sleep
hehe ~
dont envy me pls..
haha ~

this week settled all my school stuff le
i am going to cyberjaya MMU ~
to study SOFTWARE ENGINEERING AND GAME DESIGN...
haiz..
hope i can ace it
and the most thing i hate is my mom willing to sponsor me go study
but there is terms and condition applied..
which i dont really like
and she forced me to write something like a contract ...
aiyo.. need anot o..
haiz...
she like lo..
that matters ...
dun 1 argue la..
just obey her for once ...
haha

so relationship part..
laopo i am doing my best to change le
and i dun like things goes too fast...
like it goes smoothly and slowly la
hehe ~
even though we aint fast la..
haha
just sket too fast ...
or maybe i thinking too much again?

if u are reading pls,
dun always coffee o ,
gt da time rest ba
dun online too much o..
now is ur finals period..
jyjy o ~

relationship

我跟她开始了
在5月9号
今天已经3天了
也是我跟她第一次约会
感觉还不错哦~
可是我觉得我有点点太被动了哦~
就不好哦~
这个毛病很久就发觉到了
只是不懂要怎样改
现在在想着办法哦
就遭话题来料阿~
这也是我的一个很大的毛病啊~

就让我跟她在一起的时候
会很静啊~
她也投诉了几次了~
哈哈
可是我就是这样啊~
在努力的改着了拉
哈哈
而且今天我们也"窜报"了
本来还不想让他们知道的~
可是就因为一些意外
就让他们都知道了

现在有了女朋友
需要加油的东西就更多了
尤其是钱的问题
然后就是我的态度
然后就是我的外表
这3个是我一定要改的~
enen
不可以只是说说罢了~
真得一定要改哦~

明天我要去gao dim我大学的东西了
due date要到了
加油把

还有在回家时
跟豪谈了很多东西
就了解到些些的东西哦~
哈哈~
谢谢

也谢谢大家的祝福~

mood

today i listen to utada hikaru new album
all eng song de very nice o ~

haha~
今天miin回来了
然后，就来个yam cha
哪个地方真得很多人zzz
可是，
我觉得最过分的是
他们在将我和馨的东西
还要在我们的面前讲
就很不因该阿~
毕竟，馨是女生阿
这样对一个女生
真的让他不懂要把面子放到哪里哦

她呢
应该知道了
我这里写的是谁
很多时候
我不讲
他们都会猜到
我真得不懂他们是怎样知道的
就会大一下馨的问题
为什么是你？
为什么指定是你？
这我也不懂哦~
感觉来了就来了
我不可能对感觉说:"
eh 你不可以来
你走
shuu shuuuu"
这样吗？

她对我有没有感觉
我就不懂了
这问题
rumin问过我~
...
。。。。。。。。待续。。。。。。。。。。。

纯粹想分享

媳婦說：
「 煮淡一點妳就嫌沒有味，現在煮鹹一點妳卻說咽不下，
妳究竟想怎麼樣 ？」
母親一見兒子回來，二話不說便把飯菜往咀裡送。
她怒瞪他一眼。
他試了一口，馬上吐出來，
兒子說：「 我不是說過了嗎，媽有病不能吃太鹹！」
「 那好！媽是你的，以後由你來煮！」
媳婦怒氣沖沖地回房。
　
兒子無奈地輕嘆一聲，然後對母親說：
「 媽，別吃了，我去煮個麵給妳。」
「 仔，你是不是有話想跟媽說，是就說好了，別憋在心裡！
「 媽，公司下個月升我職，我會很忙，
至於老婆，她說很想出來工作，所以 ....」
母親馬上意識到兒子的意思：
「 仔，不要送媽去老人院。」
聲音似乎在哀求。
兒子沉默片刻，他是在尋找更好的理由。
　
「 媽，其實老人院並沒有甚麼不好，
妳知道老婆一但工作，
一定沒有時間好好服侍妳。
老人院有吃有住有人服侍照顧，不是比在家裡好得多嗎？」
「可是，阿財叔他 ....」
　
洗了澡，草草吃了一碗速食麵，兒子便到書房去。
他茫然地佇立於窗前，有些猶豫不決。
母親年輕便守寡，含辛茹苦將他撫養成人，供他出國讀書。
但她從不用年輕時的犧牲當作要脅他孝順的籌碼，
反而是妻子以婚姻要脅他！
真的要讓母親住老人院嗎？
仔問自己，他有些不忍。
　
「 可以陪你下半世的人是你老婆，難道是你媽嗎？」
　
阿財叔的兒子總是這樣提醒他
「 你媽都這麼老了，好命的話可以活多幾年，
為何不趁這幾年好好孝順她呢？
樹欲靜而風不息，子欲養而親不在啊 ！」
親戚總是這樣勸他。
兒子不敢再想下去，深怕自己真的會改變初衷。
　
夕晚，太陽收斂起灼熱的金光，躲在山後憩息。
一間建在郊外山崗的一座貴族老人院。
　
是的，錢用得越多，兒子才心安理得。
當兒子領著母親步入大廳時，
嶄新的電視機，42吋的螢幕正播放著一部喜劇，
但觀眾一點笑聲也沒有。
幾個衣著一樣，髮型一樣的老嫗歪歪斜斜地坐在梳化上，
神情呆滯而有一個老人在自言自語，
有個正緩緩彎下腰，想去撿掉在地上的一塊餅乾吃。
　
兒子知道母親喜歡光亮，
所以為她選了一間陽光充足的房間。
從窗口望出去，樹蔭下，一片芳草如茵。
幾名護士推著坐在輪椅的老者在夕陽下散步，
四周悄然寂靜得令人心酸。
縱是夕陽無限好，畢竟已到了黃昏，他心中低低嘆息。
　
「 媽，我........我要走了 ！」
母親只能點頭。
他走時，母親頻頻揮手，
她張著沒有牙的嘴，
蒼白乾燥的咀唇在囁嚅著，一副欲語還休的樣子。
兒子這才注意到母親銀灰色的頭髮，
深陷的眼窩以及打著細紋臉。
母親，真的老了！
　
他霍然記起一則兒時舊事。
那年他才6歲，母親有事回鄉，不便攜他同行，
於是把他寄住在阿財叔家幾天。
母親臨走時，
他驚恐地抱著母親的腿傷心大聲號哭道：
「 媽媽不要丟下我！媽媽不要走！」
　
最後母親沒有丟下他。
他連忙離開房間，順手把門關上，不敢回頭，
深恐那記憶像鬼魅似地追纏而來。
　
他回到家，
妻子與岳母正瘋狂的把母親房裡的一切扔個不亦樂乎。
身高3呎的獎杯──
那是他小學作文比賽「我的母親」第1名的勝利品！
華英字典──
那是母親整個月省吃省用所買給他的第一份生日禮物！
還有母親臨睡前要擦的風濕油，
沒有為她擦，帶去老人院又有甚麼意義呢？
　
「 夠了，別再扔了！」兒子怒吼道。
﹝這麼多垃圾，不把它扔掉，怎麼放得下我的東西﹞。
岳母沒好氣地說。
　
「 就是嘛！你趕快把你媽那張爛床給抬出去，
我明天要為我媽添張新的 ！」
　
一堆童年的照片展現在兒子眼前，
那是母親帶他到動物園和遊樂園拍的照片。
　
「 它們是我媽的財產，一樣也不能丟！」
　
「 你這算甚態度？對我媽這麼大聲，我要你向我媽道歉！」
　
「 我娶妳就要愛妳的母親，
為甚麼妳嫁給我就不能愛我的母親？ 」
　
雨後的黑夜分外冷寂，街道蕭瑟，行人車輛格外稀少。
一輛寶馬在路上飛馳，頻頻闖紅燈，陷黃格，
呼一聲又飛馳而過。
那輛轎車一路奔往山崗上的那間老人院，
停車直奔上樓，推開母親臥房的門。
他幽靈似地站著，母親正撫摸著風濕痛的雙腿低泣。
她見到兒子手中正拿著那瓶風濕油，
顯然感到安慰的說：
「 媽忘了帶，幸好你拿來！ 」
他走到母親身邊，跪了下來。
　
「 很晚了，媽自己擦可以了，你明天還要上班，回去吧！」
　
他囁嚅片刻，終於忍不住啜泣道 ：
「媽，對不起，請原諒我！我們回家去吧 ！」
　
∼∼後語∼∼ 　
隨著自己愈長大，
看著父母親臉龐從年輕變憔悴，
頭髮從烏絲變白髮,動作從迅捷變緩慢，多心疼！
　
父母親總是將最好、最寶貴的留給我們，
像蠟燭不停的燃燒自己，照亮孩子！
而我呢？
有沒有騰出一個空間給我的父母，
或者只是在當我需要停泊岸時，
才會想起他們……
其實父母親要的真的不多，
只是一句隨意的問候：爸、媽，你們今天好嗎？」
隨意買的宵夜，煮一頓再普通不過的晚?#92;，
睡前幫他們?#92;?#92;被子，
天冷幫他們添衣服、戴手套……
都能讓他們高興溫馨很久。
　
有時，我常在想：我希望我的子女以後如何對我。
那現在，我有沒有如此對待我的父母？
我相信，人是環環相扣的；
現在，你如何對待你的父母；
以後，你的子女就如何待你。
　
朋友，人世間最難報的就是父母恩，
願我們都能：以反哺之心奉敬父母，以恩之心孝順父母！
　
∼共勉之∼
　
生命不要求我們成為最好的，只要求我們作最大的努力！
老人安養院牆上發現的一篇文章
孩子！當你還很小的時候，
我花了很多時間，教你慢慢用湯匙、用筷子吃東西。
教你繫鞋帶、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳頭髮、擰鼻涕。
這些和你在一起的點點滴滴，是多麼的令我懷念不已。
所以，當我想不起來，接不上話時，
請給我一點時間，等我一下，
讓我再想一想……極可能最後連要說什麼，我也一併忘記。
孩子！
你忘記我們練習了好幾百回，
才學會的第一首娃娃歌嗎？
是否還記得每天總要我絞盡腦汁，
去回答不知道你從哪裡冒出來的嗎？
所以，當我重覆又重覆說著老掉牙的故事，
哼著我孩提時代的兒歌時，體諒我。
讓我繼續沉醉在這些回憶中吧！
切望你，也能陪著我閒話家常吧！
孩子，現在我常忘了扣扣子、繫鞋帶。
吃飯時，會弄髒衣服，梳頭髮時手還會不停的抖，
不要催促我，要對我多一點耐心和溫柔，
只要有你在一起，就會有很多的溫暖湧上心頭。
孩子！如今，我的腳站也站不穩，走也走不動。
所以，請你緊緊的握著我的手，陪著我，慢慢的。
就像當年一樣，我帶著你一步一步地走。
若為人子女也不懂得如何體諒他們，
那他們便只能於痛苦中渡過餘生，黑暗中逝去....

7th may 2008

today is a good day i think
went to MMU
really syok...
morning friend sent me to cyberjaya
then he go to work le
he working fro HP de
so nearby lo
and i go maybank a while
because i dun have atm card
still using booklet
haha outdated le
the person who give me nomber said
y dun register a atm card?
i smile smile and walk away
after that
i start my journey walking to MMU
it took me about 30 min to get there...
of course slow slow walk la
arrive le still need walk..
sienz dao...
there ask le things
duno still got any question need to ask anot..
think ad asked finish la
maybe i will study there
i guess my chances of studyng there is 70~80%
the % left out is getting in USM
others dun care le
haha

but hor my mom got terms and condition de lo
haiz...
when got free times need go back shop to help haiz..
when i was small i ad told them i dun wanna help there
maybe is law of attraction ba
now when got free time need back there help...
haiz...
nvm la
got accomodation and eat
so no need worry much ba
just doesnt like that place lo
haha

and for the person i had feelings lately...
i will just keep it to myself for now
dun think will take any action for now
still need time to know her more
and need time to forget about the previous one
duno y still got little feelings toward her
haha
i wrote here maybe she might see it
or maybe she might not
who knows
so , that's all for now ba
dun 1 think much le

rumors~

power of the mouth really very geng...
lately my facebook is full of comments and msg...
all asking da same thing
and got 2 ppl keep say till like its true
if it is i will be really happy
haha ~
maybe i sot le?
duno...
still planning to change myself...
haha
hoping to change to mature la
dun always looked like a child...

yesterday i cut le my hair..
went to czuo there to cut
i went there wanna find him de.
he said to story ma
then we trade lo
i went to "silver cut"
to cut my hair...
and stylist is male lai de...
he also said i look so small...
like i only 18,19...
haha a bit happy and sad lo..
happy cos i looked young,,
sad also cos i looked young
and not matured...
haha ~
here's some photo i took after cut my hair...






i think ok la
learning to use wax
but the wax i got it from my sis de
haha ~

me

in alot of ways ,
ppl saw me as a quiet and hardworking "nerd"
that is just at school
away from school area, i am just a lazy and "carefree" person
alot of thing i will do it last minute
and that always causes me and the ppl around me alot of unnessesary problems
so, changing is something i need ...

few weeks ago,
i heard someone said i am
a person
大少爷...
懒...
要求多多...
只会讲不会做...
想不劳而获...
想东西太简单...

all of it is true
i am those kind of person
i dont willing wanting to leave my "comfort zone"
which makes it hard for me to change any of those things ...
haiz..
i also dont know o ~~
and hor alot of friends saw the pic down few post
they really excited
duno y...
told them it aint real
...
they still...
arg...
i also duno what to do
haiz..
and reading really is something can help pass the time
lately been forcing myself to hv this kind of habit
haha ~
if i dun read
all my language will fade away
really dun 1 that ...
hoping to be confident in everything i am doing and speaking
just 1 of my dreams lately ~
haha ~

1st time concert ~

today is my lucky day or what .
i really duno~
my sis said she dun wanna go
then give me the lee hom ticket( rm 138)
then i go lo
quite ok la~
but really got a little and only a little sienz ~
haha ~
that's my opinion
other than that all very ok and nice ^^
hehe ~

and hor
after "that Photo" uploaded
alot of ppl really thinks that me and her really started
we didt start anything la~
and summore we not "chan" lo～
ｚｚｚ
still keep say that...
haiz ~
she really is leng lui that i admit
but then so what?
right?
i aint her type also la ~
haha ~
write till here ba ~
tired ad ><

My "laopo"~

lately i got a "laopo" ~
and she kinda ok with it ~
but hor
now both of us ad jump into "yellow river"
also cant clean our name de la ~
so just continue a while ba ~
haha ~
even though ad told them me and her is nth ~
and for czuo
this is for u to see de ~
haha ~
dun say i didnt let u see a ~
blek ~~
and my hair de purple colour is the mirror reflect de
nt that i really dye my hair ~


ps : "laopo" hope u wont mind a ~
i put here de la
haha ~

Food~

this is the 2 things that my mom everyday use to dabao the food for dinner and lunch ~
so i aint the tong sampah that u guys said i am ~
haha~
this amount and more is for my whole family eat de ~
haha ~
very alot right ~
i also duno how i can eat so little ~
nvm la ~
ad used to it ~

yesterday , we go watch coming soon
kinda funny
1st time use this kind of way to think of ghost story ~
haha ~
not that scary
just got 1 part i scared dao ~
and luckily the one bside me didnt scream i will scare her more than the movie
haha ~
really got 1 time experience
kinda scare ad ~
and hor
they start to discuss the one i wrote here ~
i wont tell la ~
cos i got my own issue ~
so really wont tell for now ~
need to really feel it is the right one anot
my depth , still gt someone there ~
so duno why so long le
still gt ~
maybe i really falled for her at that time ~
duno ~
wanting to forget someone really is hard
see how ba ~
if the feeling is right maybe will take initiative ba ~
on changing my look~
haha ~

and i got mmu de offer letter le
they offer me software engineering and game design
its june intake ~
and local uni is and the 3rd week of june only out ~
diu lo ~
headaching sienz...

and minxian ~
next time must b more careful o ~
duno always dreaming ba ~
know u might be thinking someone or something at that time la ~
hehe ~
take care ya ~
wish u recover asap ~
^^

First time ~~

first time went home from submit ~~
the go the kesas highway
didnt know what the road leads me
just following the signboard back to Tmn OUG ~
but hor ~
there is 2 tols
both cost rm 2.20 each
and my wallet only got rm 3.40
how a ~~
short rm 1..
in the second tols ~
i keep say shit b4 i saw the signboard got tol..
then when its my turn
i told the person
i not enough money
only rm 1
then she thinks a while say ok la
took the rm 1 from me a
and let me go ~
really a first time ~
and really thanks her for that
its really a scary experience and a nice one ~~
haha ~

that feeling ~

that feeling is back
but i still feel that i havent truely let go of my previous one
how am i going to do ~
everytime know that she is ok
i felt happy
duno y..
just sudden felt like that
maybe i really fallen for her?
but if its true
all i can say i too swollen to last long
maybe its coming too fast i guess
just me feeling la
like to think things according to my heart than my mind
haha
actually at the previous post
i kinda wan to see some comment de
but in the end
nothing there
a bit dissapointed lo
and today is one of my friend 's bday
happy birthday to him ^^
hehe ~

dun like this kind of emo feeling ~~
just hate it ~~
really wanna go out and breathe some fresh air...
felt like the air is going to run out and cant breathe
really seldom i had this kind of feeling ><
maybe it is good or bad?
i really duno
anyone got an answer?
haha ~

so normally i will find songs to listen to 麻醉 myself
been doing it lately..
hehe ~
so hope can find nice song to listen ~~
good night ~

liking this song lately~~

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

Oohhhh ohhohh

The storms of rage are rolling wild and free
Down that highway of regret
The wind of change is blowing wild and free
But you aint seen nothing like me yet

There aint nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the end of the earth for you
Make you happy make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

To make you feel my love

i heard this song from American idol season 8
sang by kris allen ~~
haha quite nice de lo ~~
but is an emo song la...
~~
just wanna share it ~~

suddenly feeling like this ~~~

its been awhile since i got this feel again ~~
even though kinda hungry to get one la ~~
now got le
but just little la...
not much though
haha ~
sure got alot of ppl ask is who de la
wont tell blek ~~
i know even i said wont tell
still got ppl will ask de la...
so its really humanity's curiousity ~
see how how la ~~
maybe i am in the RIGHT mood
i might slip some out leh ~~
then u will know who is it lo
haha ~

so didnt think much ba ~~
most important now is to have the ability to support myself
i mean financially ~
asin my financial also got problem ~
how to have a relationship leh?
having a relationship really need some $ de lo~~
i know i am the kind of person which
have rm 10 will use rm 10 ~
so its really a challenge to change la ~
hehe ~
i think i will change into
the kind of person got rm 10 will use rm 7
haha ~
can change till like that ad very good le
that's my target for now la ~~

in a way, really hope to hv a serious relationship la...
duno this time will success anot ~~
i know in the past
i really did alot of mistake
which i let my oppotunities just slip pass me ~~
and i didnt reach out my hand to grab it ~~
its really my problem ~
didnt know how to reach out my hand ~
so now hope i got enough mistake
and learn from it ~
maybe the things i said here
some might felt its rubbish
but for me just a reminder
and on the real occasion
no one knows what will happens
and what stupid thing i will do ~~
haha

write till here ba
getting tired le ^^
hehe ~~
need to thanks zihao for lending me his pc to write this ^^
hehe ~
night ~~

Life and Death ~

one of my uncle had just passed away since yesterday ~~
and his news of passing away
came in really suddenly and shocking after hearing it
even though i known him for my whole life
but we didnt even chatted over 10 sentences,
maybe some of you will think that it is crazy
but its true
i didnt really chatted with any of my relatives
cos mostly when we chat
they are the one talking
i just moves my head,

today is the second day after he passed away
is a tiring day
tomoro need wake up early
to see the cremaltation(火葬）think i spell it wrongly
really felt that death is a reminder for all of us
that life is precious and need to treasure it
so,
try to anything u think is great b4 that day comes^^
even there is alot of obstacle on the way
so dun give up ya,
^^

and saturday need take the usm exam,
duno wat i need to study,
so thinking to just bring myself there,
haiz...
wish me luck la,

been taking 3 days straight leave le,
next 2 weeks cant take any leave le,
or else will give ppl kill liao
especially my mother!!!
haiz...

jjust write till here ba ~
night ~

girlish

lately, been listening to some negativity things bout me de
haha its good
but doesnt really like
and i need to accept it and change it ~~
cos as a boy
being too soft really a bit weird sometimes
so been changing ~~
but still girlish~~
and even got friend take it as a joke
haha really nothing de la...
so dun worry i will get angry or anything..

just that being girlly...
i also duno why..
maybe cos i grow up in a many girls environment?
maybe la..
haha ~~
so trying to be manly and fit a bit haha~~
starting to say something stupid again ~~
just write for fun ~~

Naughty ~

its been quite some time had i updated my blog ~~
haha now kinda nothing to do
so....
doing some update during my work ~~
haha ~~
i know most of you will say i am very bad
cos writing blog during my work.
but today really like nothing to do
and very free
i had been free since 11 something till now
haha
i told my mom i am very free at work
but she say go work la
got money take de wor
zzz
i also know got money take de la
but in someway , felt not really worth lo
doing nth and still get $,
just felt la...nothing much ~~
even though , every hour working is rm 4.5 la...
still can tahan a bit ba
haha

1 more important thing...
my phone lately sot sot ing le
most of the time cant receive network coverage
thinking of changing new phone le ~~
any nice suggestion ~~
haha ~~
so sienz...
need to suffer few more day ...

tmr i asked for holiday again ><
starting to feel i very naughty le la..
haha ~~
need to finish my things at mmu o ..
if not will let my sister nag again...
haiz...
so tmr go finish it ba ...
not really got anything to update le ba ~~
so wish everone all da best la ~~

hate this part right here ~~

today went out whole day ~~
certified my things le ~~
and got other things to do
so now trying to arrange my time
and take control of my own life...
not always being controlled by others

sometimes i really think that i very not mature...
easy to follow what people said...
and i got a quite serious problem...
which is very easy to nervous then will say something wrongly and badly...
haiz...
just happened today ~~
so hoping to cope this problem ^^
and suggestion?
haha ~~

and uni things got some not sure de..
so tmr need to settle it all a...
and its a must ...
not just say say
and this saturday, they having a cooking party wor..
haha
maybe it will be fun i guess
now i really need to do what i had promise to myself...

and hor...
i kinda felt sorry to myself
cos i didnt go da camp my teacher asked me to go...
saw one of my friends's blog
which he went there and came back
its like a good experience...
maybe i not strong enough to make my own decision..
always give ppl help me decide...
should learn to make responsibility on my own
not always push to others to help me do it..
heard a quote " 99% is own hard work , 1 % is luck"
i believe its true
as in really believe...
cos of my laziness..
made my result ><
haiz...
dun say la..
so must apply what i learnt on my normal basis
especially communication ~~
haha ~~
gambateh ba ~~

...

its been quite some time i have stopped updating my blog
so today wanna update it a little
and starting to think bout myself,
and analyse some of my habits,
they are really some bad 1
but lately i only notice
when i at home i will feel like dont wanna do any thing
but relax only.
maybe that is so-called 'comfort zone' ba~~
just got that kind of feeling..
and my phone credit being drain like water...

some of friends assume that my little xian is my gf...
omg...
duno y ~~~
really that cocok?
weird la
lately many ppl like assume i got gf...
sienz.....
zzzz

feeling tired and.....

lately have been feeling tired....
and have been hearing some free caunselling from alot of ppl
and my head's memory going to be full soon
now kinda stuck le..
haiz...
really duno what to do now...
sienz ...
maybe its my ego blocking me from listening to those things?
or is it i willingly doing this kind of things?
really need time to think of such things...
if not really hard to...
if always ego then hard lo..
haiz...
today take leave le..
my mom , my sisters all nagging at me...
sienz...
say no working a...
then no money lo...
but i think " no work mai no work lo, so what?"
"no work wont die for now de la..."
"haiz...duno y they worry about what also"

and lately they didnt think bout the "assuming" things le...
cos i got another matter let them ngam me...
haiz..
always listen to these kind of things...
really sienz la..
and hor... kinda like wanna die now...
haiz...
wanna cry also...
got such result ><
no die also no use a...
roar...
all mixed together...
kinda dizzy after reading these...
saying sorry if it made u dizzy ><
....
be happy la..
cheer up ^^

Girlfriend...

really duno why a...
my whole family really assumed i ad got gf le...
why is that a...
i didnt say anything or do anything odd a...
just as usual...
and then my mom really assumed i got le..
=.="
really duno what she thinking...
or maybe she really that wanting to drink the "tea"
duno leh...
zzz....
tell the truth...
even i wan also no ppl wants me de la...
so lo..
how will i got gf leh?
zzz
tell some of my best friends bout this..
they all just laughed...
some got swt...
cos didnt thought my family will like that...
haha....
see 1st ba...
maybe will really find one ba ~~
also duno o ~~
hehe ~~

lately...

started from last week~~
my job become very very nth to do ~~
today is the most free yet ~~
i can take a little nap on my drawer
nearly 30 min only...
and wake up le still nth to do ,
then take book and read + sms...
so u can imagine how free i can be...
really nth to do for now...
few days later need stick 200 menu ><
maybe i just go back help gua..
still not sure...
told boss on tuesday
that i will stop working till end of this month
which is tmr.
and his reaction like nth...
and my colleague got ask me march got what plan and why leave so early
so i tell her lo...
and tell her i wont be free most of the time
but she told me and said that
maybe when free come back work lo
scare the blangadesh buruh cant work too many things a...
and ask me help lo..
i also duno a..
just free then back help lo..
haha ~~
today also bored whole day and only truly worked on 4 to 630pm...
cos print poster
just sit there guard the paper
nth else le..
tmr also like this gua...

lately kinda addicted to katy perry
maybe going to find her album and listen listen
hehe ^^
got few of her songs le very nice...
and need to buy formal shirt and leather shoe le
sienz...
need use money ><
really no $ use a...
debt too high ><
need some adjustment..
haha....
haiz...

ps : now even my colleagues thinks that i am spm only ><
am i really that childish?
haha maybe yes? duno a...
zzz
still got a little cant accept this kind of comments
even though its been quite some time le...
since i heard this kind of comment ...
haha ~~
just accept it ba ~~ nth to do more...

病好了

wuwu
整整一个星期++
才痊愈~
生病真得不是很好受的哦~

我又要换工作了
因为这份工
有点点太空闲了~
没什么东西做~
上个星期才开始这样的~
因为我的老板
请了3位新员工
我的工作量就减少很多了~
然后这几天，
我都没什么东西做
别的同事就整天都在忙
就让我感觉很不自在咯~
其他人在忙
而我就没东西做
在位子发呆咯~
所以就跟老板讲我做到这个月底
他也只是orh...了几下
算答应了把~
哈哈~
如果我没有事先跟我老板讲
跟我的家人商量的话~
他们一定是要我留下的~
都不懂为什么要留下~
真得有点莫名其妙哦~
rm4.5 per hour
真得很低一下~
连外劳都比我的多~
哈哈~

我才刚刚病好
就乱乱跑了~
给我妈妈ngam了几下~
然后hor
我得全家人都觉得我有女朋友了
真得不懂我哪一个部分像有女朋友的~
我只是sms比较多
比较长出去
这样而已阿~
真得很奇怪也~
blek...
就算我想要一个
也没人要我拉~
这样幼稚又没责任感
也不太付出的一个人
还会有人要的阿~？
不理这么多拉~

今天我忘记去买unik no ><
明天一定要买阿~
鸡蛋糕了拉~
其他都填了
剩我一个还没填
haiz...
gambateh la ~~

09年的情人节

在情人节，的前夕才开始生病
真的又没有搞错哦~
刚刚开始时，
我还以为是小事来的
但是，在做工的途中
越来越不舒服了~
然后就去看医生(中医)
然后就请半天的假
还好这个老板蛮随和的
哈哈
然后，就回家睡大觉
起来时，已经是晚上9pm了
然后我真个人很累又很热，
大腿有红点~
就没什么理一下~
吃饱饱后，
就继续做猪
但是，我的房间真的很热
就有点困难入眠

到了情人节当天，
我本身是很想留在家
哪里都不要去~
可是，我妈妈就偏要我出去店里
我知道她是想方便看着我才这么做的
不过还好他有这么做~
因为那天我的烧退了一下然后又回来了
之后就去看clinic doctor
不懂要讲我们幸运还是倒霉
我们去到后
刚好是他打烊前20分钟
哈哈~
登记后就开始等~
等到nurse教导我的名字时
就进去咯
那位医生为了一些问题后
帮我量以下我那时候的身体多少度
我听到她跟我妈妈讲"one hundred and 2"
unit我没听到，不过应该是degree的
就一边帮我看病一边讲人生道理
就我听到多少就多少咯~
看完后
就回家吃药
然后做猪
09年的情人节，就这样过了~
哈哈

直到昨天，
我的病都好多了
我的其中一个智慧牙的位置开始痛
然后我的姐姐
就讲可能是因为我要长智慧牙
所以才生病了~
是吗？
真的吗？
又来语无伦次了~

语无伦次的我

这几天，我都会语无伦次的
为什么会这样我真的不懂也
就很自然变成这样了
就需要时间去满满的便回来啊~
感觉上我的断断续续的mindset又回来了
像东西会断断续续的
就我的脑要做联会的function有点不容易的
哈哈
就觉得有些时候
我会被别人忽略掉的
就不懂为什么
他们会很自然的忽略了我一下
就看得出拉
或许我把我自己看得有点重吧
我真的开始又有点语无伦次了~
都不懂自己讲什么了~

翰尧阿~翰尧
你快醒醒啊~
别在睡觉了拉
这不是梦啊~
要醒醒哦~
还有要认证的决定自己要什么哦~
别在犹豫不决了拉
这样会误了大事的哦~
别这样啊~
来用心，来告诉你自己
你要的是什么啊~
而不是我行我素的
努力加油~
你可以的
believe in yourself ~~

looking 4 help?

lately i have been calling for someone to chat with...
cos duno why felt like wanting to find someone.
just that there's not really someone there for me to find
if u know what i mean,
hehe~
they say wed night go watch bride war wor...
i am ok with that as long as i dont go home too late ^^
so fine with me ^^
now at friend's house taking some songs from him
haha ~~
from 10 something till now
u guess how many songs i got from him?
not many actually...
after finishing this post need to go back home asap le..
if not, weill kena scold or ngam again...
haha.
so, waiting for the someone right now...
haiz...
really duno how long i can hold myself together

haiya dun think too much yet ba ~~
think of others more inportant de 1st la
hehe
blek blek...
gah you ~~
new year resolution havent write complete ><
and my resume still havent touched it...
really need to get myself going
and not just standing here ><
yaoz a ~~
when u think u can , u really can and must take action at once.
waiting is just a waste of time
but in some occasion its good
but for now please stop the just thinking and take some action ...
haha ~~
gah you o ~~

me, me and me

lately kinda hunger for money ><
too many target need $ to get it ...
haha
really hope to get them b4 i go to uni
kinda stressful lately...
duno why just hope to say it to some one or thing loudly...
keeping inside really will make someone crazy sometimes...
and for today ...

i went to my relatives house
chit chat a little only...
cos most of them is older than me
and all of them know how to speak hokkien
and i dont ><
which i hate it very much
cos listening to something i duno
and 1 of my cousin when to HELP to study lending from ptptn
the other 1 is at ktar
that's all i know from the cousin's around my age de
older one all around age with my parents...
and all they talk is cooking and health de stuff...
mostly cooking la..
and this topic... erm...
kinda like very unfamiliar to me ...
and i sms miin said very boring...
she said i very geng at ls...
actually i am very noob around my ch friends le
mostly of them are more pro and better than me
so dun say i pro or anything like that pls..
u all think i am pro?
i am not and that's the truth
so pls dun say that la...
haha ~~

my bad habits are coming back...
which is very 小孩子气
and very unpatient...
sometimes really duno what to say bout my family la...
Mommy - always ngam said no one will help her lighten her burden, everything must be done my herself and non of her children inherrited her responsibility, and always say when i was 7 i ad helping my parents wash clothes and do house work le la, what have u done?
Daddy - doesnt care or listen to anything ppl said or do , very giam siap on spending money on others places beside food ,
eldest sister - kinda ok sometimes but got any problem told her , 100% will tell mother, and that's the only things no good for now
2nd sister - basically a ok person, but when it comes to money totally cold hearted
3rd sister - most bossy one among all 3 sisters , and her temper are quite similiar to hers
older bro - everything also ok, just that he didnt do well in his job so always kena scold by my 2nd sis .
younger bro - having same habits as my older bro, and loves to kacau me and got " pork hand" around the house almost everyone has kena his "pork hand" just like one of my best friend... really haiz... and he is the king in the house , but at outside he is very very shy.

basically this is all my family and they really love to call me to do things as like i am the ah 4 there, sometimes really angry bout that cos those climbing up and down things all is automatically related to me to finish the job.
and now my younger bro he's taller than me and much more muscle than me
still i am the one doing those things ><
really very sienz la...
maybe i became the quiet one in a group is because of them?
maybe i guess
haha ^^

and to someone at kampar
Happy Birthday o ~~
haha ~~
blek ~~

want to find another part time job

its been 3 weeks since i worked, times does flies by sometimes.
and i really hope that i can find another part time job to cope with my money problems
its like getting more and more serious
and guys, those i promise to belanja
i will keep my promise but not now
the time will come within this year so be patient pls
hehe
and kinda learnt alot of things ^^
hehe ~~
and played with hao's new kitten, its really cute and fluffy.
really nice to hug ^^
haha ~~
alot of thing really meant to be made by ourselves and ourselves only
others only can help to give opinion
and the final decision still own to make
but sometimes really envious of those really determined and persistent on pursuing their dreams
this is a gift that i dont have
but i am trying to gain it by hardwork
need time to gain than..
and hardwork i mean really HARD WORk..
cos i am those kind of ppl who easily give up on somethings...
so really hard....
and finally i decided on buying w960
no going back now..
aiming it on may this year ^^
hehe~~
hope to get it soon...
wuwu
wanting to find another part time job for only fri to sun de
anyone got suggestion?

anything but ordinary

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident, turibulent, succulent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby

Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
oh
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.


lately i am addicted to this song not just its rhytum but its lyrics too ~~
this is just one the songs that i like
the other one is the fray - you found me..

in some way i really felt lost and dont know what to do,
and now i am wondering around aimlessly,
i know what kind of person i am,
and i will relay strongly on those who will help me,
so think twice on trying to help,
haha,
i think i am crazy saying stuff like this,
i guess its ok de ~~